Suicide
by Kakashi Nuttcase
Summary: Kakashi has gone through so much in his life so when his team finds out about his little affair with Sakura what will happen?  Will the pain of being ignored tip him over and make him commit suicide?
1. Prolouge

**Chapter One**

**Depression Meets Eye To Eye**

Ever since he was a child he's seen death. To much death matter of fact. Going through exceeding expectations he saw ore death. He started to second guess being a ninja tell receiving his gullible team. The team he knows today as team Kakashi. The team that brought him back to earth, to home, to sanity.

He protected the young Genin like his own children. Taking some over the tip risks. He never pushed his limits to far though. He made it clear that they needed him he would do anything to help. I mean **everything **to help.

But on one small mission he lost it. The day was calm and relaxed with only a few visitors. Team of eighteen year old's walked ahead of their slow sensei. They followed the latest visitor as he made way to make a mission request. Kakashi glanced up from his book and realized where they dragged him; Tsunade. She showed the visitor out and walked up to his team.

"You heard him. Now your going in to secretly watch the employers." Tsunade announced. "They've readied your sleeping arrangements."

Sakura turned to him and smiled brilliantly. Leaving him with a touch of loneliness when she turned away from him. Oh how a woman could make a man shiver. Later Sakura went to inform Kakashi of all he missed with his daydreaming. But she knew all to well what he was daydreaming about. How could she not, it did involve her.

"Sensei, sensei!" She hollered.

His home was awkwardly clean. Nothing hardly on his walls or shelves. He didn't even have a normal television. When she first walking in and greeted the living room all she saw was a white sofa with friends names stitched amongst its arm. To the left led a door to the kitchen and dining room. In the kitchen was a fridge and microwave. Cabinets were empty and the other half of the room stood a round oak table for four, only one chair. To the right of the living space were stairs that lead to a hallway. Four bedroom doors were on each side of the hallway. One grand metal door stood on the wall right above the stairs. All the bedrooms except for this one were empty.

Sakura entered the kitchen. Her eyes quickly scanning the wrap around counter with a mini-fridge and microwave laying lazily on it's presence. The intake of items was over soon. She sat down on the chair and sighed. She had seen her sensei's home before, but never had she got the chance to really see it. Now that she had, she felt lonely. Her poor sensei with not a single friend breathing. She began to sniffle lightly.

"Sensei." She cried.

"Oh um..."

She spindled around to meet Kakashi's gaze. He looked utterly surprised with only a towel on. Sakura gawked at his mask less, shirtless, body.

"You've seen me without my mask before."

She stood quickly and stalked towards the doorway in which he stood.

"Matter of fact you've seen more then just that."

Sakura ignored his teasing words and lunged into his embrace.

"God, I've missed your features." She whispers."That mission took to long. I hate hiding our relationship."

"Sakura, maybe after this mission we should stop this."

He pushed her off with her shoulder so that they may see eye to eye to each other. But Sakura looked down away from his vision.

"That only means we have to spend the rest of the time with each other wisely." Kakashi cued.

Sakura rubbed her cheek against his chest.

"That was awful sudden." She stated.

"Not really, I had to think about-"

"No, not that. The bulge."

* * *

><p><strong>Author Note: <strong>Sorry it's so short. The next chapter will be here really soon so it's gonna be longer haha. I hope you enjoy. And merry Christmas to everyone.


	2. Chapter 1

When I was younger or even now my mom says "we'll love you no matter what." I had always blew it off until now. I wish she said it more often. I never once think of love in my parents, but love has always been in one person at a time. I suppose my parents and family cater to a love I don't recognize. It's very confusing and it should be for a teenager my age.

I sit on my bed adjusting to the sheet size with Sakura tucked in next to me. The little things I was told to enjoy, but I am plagued to worry about the bigger things. Such as how wrong this is. How wrong I am.

"Mmm is it time to wake up?"

I smiled slightly and brushed my hand over her hair. Her eyes fluttered open and stared into mine. I almost felt everything dim around her. As if she were a star.

"Why are you staring me down?"

Chuckling quietly I leaned down and kissed her cheek.

"Lets go get ready for the mission Sakura."

She sat up quickly and trotted pass me as I stood up. It was cute watching her as she ran around trying to find her clothing. She dashed back in and tackled me so I was back onto the bed.

"Hey Kakashi-sensei when were we suppose to go meet them?"

"Um... Well I wasn't really listening and you never told me details..."

Her eyes widened and she leaped off my lap. She began to dig through my closet and pack my bag and pull out her own that she kept at my house. 

"What if we're late!?"

"Don't worry. I'll just tell them I kept you busy trying to fill me in, but I was too busy reading my i-" I couldn't finish what I was saying because she stuffed my mask in my mouth.

"Hurry up and get dressed! God slow old man!"

All I could do for a reaction was to pull on some pants laying next to the bed. I suppose since ninja's rarely live long enough for a happy life dating their student isn't out of the question. It is still a taboo though. I after all am entrusted to watch over them and make sure they do live a happy life and I doubt I could give Sakura such a life.

When the sun's light had begun to shine over the land we stand upon Sakura drug me to the gates. There we waited alone. Not a single soul awake on this fine Sunday morning. I greatly expect our more religious part of community to be slowly dragging towards the shrines. Though had a certain image of society that not much of our village shared.

"Maybe we were to late and they left without us!" Sakura paniced.

"Sakura-san I would advise you to calm down less you finally pop that vein in your forehead."

She gave me a pointed glare and I laughed before sneaking a kiss, as the team came to the gates as well.

"Whoa sensei! What the hell! You know I like Sakura no fair!"

Sakura blushed darkly and skittered out the gate as soon as the doors flew open. I stood still as they walked pass me with confused looks and what I thought was disgust.

"I thought better of you Kakashi-sensei;" muttered Yamato.

I had thought better of me at one time as well. I now do not. I am a putrid creature taking advantage of his sweet innocent student.

"Who would like to share rooms with Sakura?"

No answer.

"Perhaps any with me?"

No response. It stayed that way even after we got to the kingdom of some sorts. They all piled into a room and slammed the door into my face. My thoughts are not so balanced anymore. Listening to their words through the wall and facing the bit of rejection they showed me. It harbors a new feeling in my chest and stomach. It is quilt and that twisted pain before I got the team.

"Come on guys you can't keep ignoring him like that."

"We will do whatever we like and your gonna keep your mouth shut too."

Damn-it I knew this would end badly I just hadn't thought it would be on a mission. I always thought they'd walk in on us or something. Never once had I thought I wouldn't have the time to explain to them what was happening. Trying to calm myself I took a deep breathe and pulled out my favored weapon from Minato-sensei.

"He's disgusting for even thinking of doing that to his student."

Just a light cut along my wrist. That's all I need.

"Pig. Why doesn't he just go and fuck Hinata-san while he's at it."

Maybe just a little deeper.

"I had thought Kakashi-sensei saw you guys as children. Who would sleep with their own child."

"AAH!"

Shit I cut too deep... I could feel their eyes through the walls. Did they know I was listening? I ran out of the room holding my arm and into the restroom.

"Did you hear that?" Sakura cried.

"Yeah... I wonder if Kakashi did something to harm the other employees in his room;" Yamato stated.

Somehow it gave me comfort to know that Yamato wouldn't bring up my past habits with my team there. I am slightly safer with that man.

**Author Note: **Hey guys I am majorly sorry... Like the site has been overridden with moderators over doing it. I mean in some cases they aren't even looking for mistakes. Just erasing the stories. So I apologize for not updating. I just don't want to lose all of the stories I have worked so hard on and held as a important part of my life. I even considered just leaving and I still am since it's terrifying to think all of the friends I have made on here as Kakashi Nuttcase would be lost with a moderators order. So enjoy me while you can the little fans I do have...


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